A little humor for the holidays . . .

 deer santa:

I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care.. How about I send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with those?
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim Beam.
Santa

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China. Every year I give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa
P.S.
Tell your mom she got the part.
Long Dong Claus

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

The following story was on my local news (WTVR in VA) lately and it broke my heart. Please pray for a Christmas miracle for Joseph. There is power in numbers for those who believe.

I'm all done with my Christmas shopping! I think this is the first time in my life I can state this before Christmas Eve. Everything's wrapped and under the tree. Makes it feel more like Christmas. I'm really looking forward to the holiday this year. No demands, no expectations. I don't have to be anywhere at any particular time.

Tomorrow my mom and I are "getting our feet done". She invited my sister, but this time we aren't going to wait for her to show up. My sister is the queen of being chronically late. Usually everyone sits around to await her arrival (totally ticks me off), but not this time. Mom said she's doing the same thing for our Christmas Eve dinner - give her a time then start without her. I've told my family a million times how inconsiderate she is and, for once, my mom is doing something about it. I could write about her for days, but that's enough about her.

Married life - whatever. I was supposed to meet my estranged husband tonight to do some shopping (him for his family), but he ended up working late (or so he says). I'm tired of that too. He says he's going to call and he doesn't. He says a lot of things I don't believe. He has so many excuses for himself it makes me sick. He always said he hated lame excuses, but he beats most when it comes to making them up. Of course, he doesn't see himself doing it. Typical. So much for him too.

My kids - at my parents until Sunday so it's just me and Sam. He's snoozing at the moment so now it's just me. Boring! I wish I had a friend or two to hang out with. It would sure beat sitting around the house. Nice thing is I have a party to go to tomorrow afternoon until whenever. Not far from home either so I don't have to worry about too much. Of course, I still won't drink too much then drive. It might be 5 minutes from home, but most accidents happen close to home (statistically) so why take chances? I got a DUI many years ago (approx 17 yrs) so I know the consequences. It will never happen again. I have no desire to become another statistic in the world. I've got too much to lose now that I'm a "grown up". I don't want to experience the hang over the next morning either. I'm a little too old for all that!!

Lastly, to everyone I wish a super, wonderful Merry Christmas! Be safe and be good. Not just Santa's watching . . .
  

Haven't put anything out here lately. I've been busy doing not much of nothing and boy is it nice!

I've been off work for Winter Break since Dec 14th and I don't go back to work until Jan 2nd. Just one of the many perks of working for a school system.  It's been heaven. I've cleaned, watched tons of tv (Steve Wilkos is fabulous!), slept in, stayed out late and the list goes on and on. FREEDOM! Got a new relaxation tool too.  Jack & Coke (well, pepsi, but whatever). Mmmmmm . . . It's nice to be able to have that choice now. Please don't think I'm becoming an alcoholic or something. One drink every other night or so. It's a nice way to just chill out. Nice after four plus years without a drink (well, yes I did sneak 1 or 2) because I married an alcoholic.

Husband is still gone. I talk on the phone with him every other day or so. He's becoming more like a friend than a husband. Pretty much separate lives. I've seen him only a few times since he left Oct 25th. I don't really think about him much any more. Not like I did in the begining. I'm not looking for anyone either. I'm just taking life one day at a time and realizing I can take care of my boys pretty much by myself (with the help of sparadoic child support). Things just seems to be coming together lately to make a long story short. I thanked God for helping me today. He truly was shining on me and I honestly felt like he had answered my prayers. It felt nice.

I'm going to go now. I'm a bit tired (good thing I get to sleep in) and my typing is getting worse by the second. Night all . . .
   

When I wake up in a few hours it will be only 1 day until I'm off work for a glorious 2 ½ weeks!

This week has dragged by soooooo slowly.  I wake up every day hoping it's Friday then realizing it's still days away.  This is truly one of the fabulous perks of working for a school system.  I may have to work all summer long, but I love getting Winter Break & Spring Break.  And snow days . . .

Working on trying to get a small loan today.  I'm trying to consolidate two small bills.  My credit is a little rough since I've been married this last time around.  It use to be perfect, but oh well.  I'm working on getting it back on track.  I've been cutting it close, but I'm making it on my paycheck & whatever child support comes in.  The kids know it's going to be a sparse Christmas (at least from me), but I'm still hoping things work out so I can get a few gifts for under the tree.  My mom already bought their "Santa" list stuff for them.  My parents are good people.  I can't believe my husband despises them.  Another oh well . . .

I've got a breakfast "meet ing" tomorrow with the entire IT dept tomorrow.  Going to definitely be on time for work.  If not, everyone will know.  That would suck.  Speaking of work - it's going pretty good.  It's been kind of slow so that makes the days drag even more.  I've been getting a lot of compliments lately.  I'm getting better at just saying "thank you" instead coming coming up with reasons it was "nothing". 

I've already got my Break planned  out.  Cleaning up & cleaning out.  I'm tired of the clutter.  Friday can't come soon enough!
   

My day is ending in a good place. It started off like any ordinary day, except that I had an appointment with my attorney for the custody/visitation hearing my jackass ex filed for.  Also, I forgot to take my depression & anxiety meds. My day quickly turned into panic & tears. The attorney was saying everything I didn't want to hear. The judge could give my ex some sort of contact even if my kids didn't want it. If the judge didn't believe my kids' thoughts weren't their own or he believe my ex was sincere (he's pretty manipulative). His biggest suggestion - get the kids back to see the original therapist they had when it all began. Eight hundred for the attorney and now insurance copays. My ex (from this point forward - John), was the same piece of shit he always was.  "Screw the kids, I'm going to get you back" mentality. My parents agree. Same tricks, but not the same me.

I called the doctor and left a message to return my call. I got through the rest of my day, but I felt like crap at work and got a SPLITTING headache.  When I got home I explained everything to the kids. Made sure they knew how important it is that they say exactly how THEY feel about their father because it will affect their futures. Whatever they want is what I want. No matter what. My oldest asked would it be like Judge Judy. I couldn't help but smile because he idolizes her:) I explained what the attorney told me and I could see that he was thinking about court, but he felt invincible. "He can't hurt me" attitude. My youngest had a weird look on his face and told me it was because he was deep in thought about the same thing. I explained why they would be going to the therapist. I asked if they remembered him. My oldest did. He smiled as he remembered his gumball machine and his folding table with the collapsing legs that they played games at as they talked. That's a great thing because he trusts the doctor. That will make him be able to truly express himself and because his brother trusts the doctor, my youngest will follow suit.

What put's me in a good place after all this? The doctor called me back.  After six plus years and he remembered us. He remembered John. He took charge of the situation and relieved me my fears for the time being. He told him about what he remembered about John and his thoughts about protecting my kids from him.  He TOLD me to tell my attorney to request a continuance.  Let my attorney know that the kids can't get an appointment until the day before the hearing (01-09-08) and no decisions should be made until HE could make a determination about what's in the best interest of my boys.  For the first time all day I could stop. Mentally, just stop thinking so hard. He's getting to me really bad and I got to stop it. I think I got a migraine and sick stomach because of him. I got a neck rub from each of my boys (it still hurts). I ate one bite of pizza and felt sick. Still never ate tonight. Tummy hurts, but not from hunger. Laid down for a long time with the lights off until I got on the computer. Now the headache is coming back with a vengeance. I'm not worrying right now. I think it's just the lights being on overhead. When I get off here, lights out for the last time tonight. The doctor made me feel empowered tonight. He showed me how I could have taken charge if only I wouldn't let my emotions rule me. At least I recognize this. It shows I really am working on me. One day at a time . . . (just wish I could get a decent neck massage)

I'm going to try to go to sleep soon. It's 2am, but I really dread closing my eyes. Last night I had one of those dreams that won't stop even if you wake up and go back to sleep. And vivid. Most times I can't remember my dreams well, but this took me back to the dreams I had when everything happened with my 2nd ex.

I dreamed he was in our home. I tried to call the police, but couldn't. The phone was dead, he had cut the line. I called the police on my cell phone, but they just weren't coming. More time passed. I told the kids to get out & go to a neighbors' house to call. Again forever went by. I realized the dogs weren't barking. I looked out and the rotweiller was dead. Then he was outside burning something in the front yard. It looked like Sam's box. I didn't know if he was in it or not. I kept wondering where the cops were and did my kids got away ok. At some point he took the kids. It was awful and kept repeating itself.

I'm going to try to sleep now. I think I'm tired enough to sleep good. I hope.
  

Today was a really wacked out day. It started out good enough, but soon turned to oh . . .

Me and my mom went shopping today for the kids' Santa wish lists. She bought everything so that really relieved me of the heavy weight of how to get the bills paid and give my boys a nice Christmas. I'm so grateful for my family.

Later, me and the boys went in to "town" to get our Christmas tree. We ended up with a real pretty one for a good price. It looks pretty. The boys did all the decorating. I put up all my snowmen (I love them) and other knick-knacks. My husband called later and wanted to have dinner with us. He was going to me us their in about an hour. Well, me and the boys got to the restaurant early so we just sat in the jeep waiting for my husband to call. Then the oh happened. A truck drove by in front of us. It wasn't just any truck, but ex #2's. We sat there, partially hidden by a tree to our right. He dropped off his male passenger at the door then parked the truck. We sat there in shock. You've got to be kidding me. The kids got a good look at him and, after he went in the restaurant, I drove by his truck so the kids could get a really good look at his truck. They know exactly what to look for now. Scary part - if it weren't for my husband being late calling, we would have been somewhere inside that restaurant with HIM. I can not imagine how I would have reacted. I drove all the way home infuriated. Nowhere is safe for us right now. He could be anywhere at anytime. Our world is closing in. Trapped in my community. "Town" is a bad place and not safe. He is an evil person. I always knew we would never be safe as long as he walked the earth. I hate him.

Jackass #2 has gone too far this time.  He's going to find out what it means to mess with me.

Wednesday, when his child support was increased, he filed for visitation.  Got served with the papers today.  His reason he wrote down was a complete lie.  I won't go into that.  That piece of garbage went to prison back in 2001 and served 6 years for sex with a minor (she was 14 and him 30).  He got out last year and probation/parole told me he couldn't have contact with ANY child under 18, including his own.  He is not allowed to write, call, or anything else and now this.  Within 20 minutes, I retained an attorney and he told me everything I need to get together to build my case against him.  This is all about me.  He is retaliating.  He doesn't give a shit about those kids and MY boys don't want contact with him of any kind.  I've always told them I will do anything to keep him out of their lives and I mean it.  I'm not that same abused, scared wife.  I'm not afraid of him anymore and he's going to find out what it means to mess with me.  It's not about what he did to me.  It's about protecting my boys.  My oldest has blocked him out completely and says he is nothing to him.  My youngest is afraid of him.  They were 8 and 4 when he went to prison.  Now, they are 14 and 11.  The attorney said they are old enough to testify about what they want.  When I'm done with him, he's going to wish he were back in prison.  I'm not sure what all I can say about him, but I would love to trash his name all over the internet.  I want people, when and if they ever google his name, to know exactly what he is.  I want people to look at him in disgust.  Maybe I can make some flyers and distribute them in his neighborhood while he's away at work.  Just one of many terrible thoughts . . . 
  

First of all, you guys and gals are great! Thank you for your kind thoughts regarding my recent court hearing for more child support. Now, for the most recent not so great stuff.

My husband is nuts. Really. His latest thing - I need to learn how to be a wife. Yeah, you heard me right. He has truly lost his mind  He doesn't even know what it is to be a good husband much less what a good wife really is. His idea of a good wife: work, do all chores around the house, put a home cooked dinner on the table every night, etc. There's quite a few other ideas so I won't list them all. I think you get the idea. Not only do I need to bring home the bacon, I need to fry it, serve it and wash the dishes.

He called back later and left a message on the answering machine (I don't have to answer just to hear more bull). Said he was sorry and didn't mean any of the things he said, etc. So what. I don't have to listen to that. Put me through all that dumb stuff (crying & such) and I'm supposed to say "No Problem". He's digging a hole I don't think he can get out of.
  

Court today was great!  In a nutshell - judge raised our current child support to around $848/mo plus about $212 towards the arrears.  I never made eye contact with my ex and he spoke so low at the judge's bench that I could barely here him.  I'm really not exactly sure of the amounts.  Once the judge started giving the info I got so excited I really didn't hear much details.  I even got a picture (license plate too) of his vehicle.  Just in case I ever need it . . .

Well, tomorrow is the big day.  I'm going to court for an increase in child support.  Still thinking positive too. 

I've got the whole thing planned out:

I hope everything goes well with it.  We can sure use it!  Important thing is I'm not worrying.  I'm not creating the worse scenarios in my head of what "might" happen.  I'm pretty cool about it and looking forward to it to some degree.  It may give me some closure for that particular chapter in my life.  After all, I have two handsome boys that wouldn't be if it weren't for him.  See, I really I'm working on looking at the positive in things; working on me.

Well, sorry to cut this short, but i feel sooooo tired. Exhausted.
 

Okay. Bored out of my mind at Shoutpost. NO ONE is there (of course there are days no one's here either). If you go to http://sheffie.shoutpost.com/" title="http://sheffie.shoutpost.com/" target="_blank"http://sheffie.shoutpost.com/... you can catch up to where I am today since I last wrote here. Now, I need to work on a post.

Just in case anyone cares, I'm outta here.  I'm sick and tired of trying to post and I can never get to the site.  If you want to find me I'm Froggie at Shoutpost.

"Vertigo is the feeling that you or your environment is moving when no movement occurs. Imprecisely called dizziness, the term vertigo is the specific term used to describe an illusion of movement. Unlike nonspecific lightheadedness or dizziness, vertigo has relatively few causes." - from www.webmd.com

Lately, I've been having spells of it daily. Often, several times a day.

To back track a bit - about a year ago I was working as a waitress part time. One night I suddenly felt hot, sweaty, sick; then the splitting headache. Next thing I know my co-workers are trying to help me off the floor and I'm so dizzy I can't stand up. After going to the emergency room the following day (I was still dizzy), I was told I had Vertigo.

I hate it. I'm afraid I'll never be able to ride a roller coaster again. I love them, my kids want to get season passes to the theme park this year (we'll have to see if the tax fairy is good this year); now this.

I'm not trying to complain. I just want to know if anyone has any remedies or solutions to share. I haven't had a drink in a looooong time so it's no fun feeling like I had one too many Long Island Ice Teas (mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!) 

Today's is my little "Doodlebug's" birthday.  Eleven years ago he came into the world - all 9 pounds 7 ounces of him.  So chubby; a little cherub.  To this day he is still an angel.  Sure, he can be rotten and fighting with his older brother is a regular thing, but he has the kindest heart anyone could imagine.  He genuinely cares for others - especially the "little guys".  He doesn't like to see others mistreated and a lot of his friends are the kids that get picked on, but my baby's not like that. 

We had his birthday party last night at Laser Quest.  He'd been invited to a birthday party once before at the place, but I'd never been inside.  I just knew what they did in there (shoot each other in a dark room with laser guns).  Five of his friends were there (plus his brother who'd never been either).  They got to play the game twice for about 20 minutes each time, followed by cake, ice cream & gifts in one of the "party rooms".  He smiles so big and you can actually sees it in his eyes when he tells me and everyone else that it was his "best birthday ever"!  I love to see him say it.  It's beautiful to see.

Today, I swear he grew up a little.  He's been so good and helpful.  He even tried to bath twice!  I haven't figured that out yet.  Sure, he and his brother have fussed with each other today, but they have played VERY good the majority of the day.  It's kind of weird in a nice kind of way.

When will they just leave up the Christmas decorations in stores year round?

I know it sounds silly, but the Walmart in my area (and other places) started putting up Christmas stuff in October and now that we're barely into November Christmas is in full swing.  What happened to Thanksgiving?  I'd love to see big stuffed turkeys and colorful cornucopias as decorations.  They want the money, but it's like wishing our lives away.  Forget all the days in beween because it's Christmas time!  Halloween was just as bad, but Christmas should be   special.  Not for the presents, but for what it represents.  Peace, harmony, the birth of Christ, etc.  The list could go on and on.  It's not about getting cool toys, gadgets and clothes.  You can buy that junk all year long if you want to.  The prices don't really drop that much (sometimes not at all) and, if you pay close attention, sometimes the prices on some popular items go up since they're items in high demand.  Ever peeled back one of those sales stickers to see what's below?  Try it sometimes.  It might just suprise you.

         

My husband called yesterday.  He got into an argument with his mom's other half.  Now, he can't stay at their home.  He's having a hard time finding a room to rent with his rotweiller in tow.  Go figure.  Well, that's when he calls me.

Do I want the dog?  Why would I want a dog that doesn't listen to me?  Okay, after him screaming at me and everything else I told him the stupid dog can stay with me until his sister gets out of jail (supposedly 12/3/07).  Then, assuming we're still separated, the dog goes.

Later that night, the husband and the dog show up.  Amazingly, no arguing.  He stayed for an hour or so, left $40 for dog food, etc then left.  I wonder if he noticed the house is cleaner since he's been gone?  I wonder if he noticed I'm not stressed?  Who knows and I'm not going to ask.

Me and the boys, doing pretty good.  Even they aren't fussing with each other as much.  I haven't been crying anymore.  It's getting easier to let go of my husband.  I'm not sure what's in his head, but I'm good with how things are.  We've got to be saving money already.  I think I've been to the grocery store twice in two weeks.  Tonight I need to go, but I don't expect to spend much.

I got my court papers served on me yesterday so my 2nd ex should have his anytime now too.  I filed for an increase in support and to make sure things are on the up and up I filed a subpeona duces tecum for his employer to provide his employment/income info.  Helps to have friends in the child support/court system.  Only mini hurdle now is who will come from the child support agency to represent the case.  I know the attorney and he's worried it my look like a conflict of interest even though you can't fudge the numbers.  Plug them in and the amount he pays is calculated.  All numbers are backed up with written prove they're correct so I don't see the conflict.  I just want to go to court and get it over with (Nov 28th).  Only thing I hadn't thought about was how to leave the courthouse without having to worry about him approaching me.  There's nothing out there to keep him away from me, just the kids.  I figure I'll hand out with the deputies (a few are friends) until he leaves or get one of them to walk me to my car.  Then drive around a bit before going back to work just in case he tries to see where that is.  I hope I don't have to say where I work in court, but if so, I plan on just saying the school system versus the specific school.

Well, got to go to work.  I'm planning on submitting a written request (i.e. demand) to be transferred to the new school once they finish it (should be open by the next school year).  I figure they can make it up to me for screwing me now.  I'm not the one being punished my ass.  I even found out yesterday that the person I replaced was the one "fixing" my stuff when I was out last week from surgery.  That really pisses me off, but I don't want to complain even though they know that is a big no-no for me.  I don't think my boss knows though.  I figure I'll bring it up at some point, but I don't want that to be the only topic of conversation when I talk to my boss.

Later!